Interview with Kate O'Beirne


Kate O'Beirne, pictured with two of her interns and prospective students for the incoming class of 2011 will be available to address recent criticism of the administration and board of AMSOL. The Real Transition Team has been given a brief interview with O’Beirne in order to get her opinion on these issues in a more private audience.

After being sworn in (actually, a rather painless process that only leaves the oath taker with a lasting hatred for bowties, ABA regulations, and faculty resolutions) we were able to get right down to brass tacks.

RTT: “a number of prominent professors have recently published their disapproval of the administration of AMSOL on Mirror of Justice. What is your take on this?”

O’Beirne: “HUMPF!!...Exactly how do you define prominent?! Anyone can publish on the internet! Try being a TV star like me…MMFH!! Besides which, I have it on good word that neither the professors, nor MOJ actually exist. Look at the link Bernie gave me. See? it's all lie, and I can't wait to tell the students that. MMFH!!"

RTT: “um, yea. Ok. So, what is your take on the suspension and possible termination of Professor Safranek?”

O’Beirne: “FRMMMM!! OOH!!! That man! Let me tell you. I had to swing by to see my Bernie one day. I was all tootled up in a fine evening gown and that bowtie wearing sicko had the nerve to come over and wish me a good evening!! Ooh the nerve! I hope he gets what he deserves!”

RTT: “Ok, while we’re on the subject. I’m sure the students will be asking about Lyons and Pucillo being denied tenure. Do you feel the Dean was justified?”

O’Beirne: “HUMPH!!! of course. Those two clowns did nothing but deter the students from their work with that look at me I’m a Mr. Niceguy stuff. What right does a professor have to talk to students outside of the classroom unless they are telling them to work harder on research?! OOOOHHH! And that Pucillo with his clerkship talk. Big deal! I work for the National Review, I know people! I’m important! All of these professors are easily replaceable. We have a new team of clerkship advisors that know the courts as well as Pucillo ever did!"

RTT: “So you feel that the school continues to move in the right direction?”

O’Beirne: “of course, you silly fool! And our new campus will have plenty of mud for me to wallow in. Uhh…. I mean there will be plenty of professors that follow the school down to Ave Town. It’ll be great, Bernie’s in the process of picking out a new southern wardrobe, and is excited that his hip will be feeling better in the warmer weather.”

RTT: “plenty of professors will be moving with the school you say. Do you have an exact number?”

O’Beirne: “well, it depends on how many stay still enough for retrofitting .

RTT: “ahh yes, we’ve heard of this retrofitting. Well, I hate to belabor you any longer with these trivial questions. We have students to transition! Thank you for your time”


/s/ Cap'n Crunch

1 Comment:

  1. Anonymous said...
    night court...classic!!!

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