The matter of exactly how AMSOL faculty will be either moved, or replaced during this all important time of transition has not been overlooked by the real transition team. While certain faculty members do not wish to hop onto the good ship octogenarian III and travel south, said faculty are in the process of being replaced. It is our fervent hope, as a dedicated and energetic real transition team that these faculty replacements will be every bit as educated, dignified, and published as the real thing.

We are pleased to announce the replacement for Ann Arbor AMSOL’s own professor Safranek, who, by some loathsome combination of reason and dedication to his students has expressed an unwillingness to hop embrace Mr. Monogram’s ideal of Ole Imokalee. His replacement, pictured below from a lecture given to 1L’s on how to balance their workload, comes with a great list of credentials; he specializes in distance learning and thus can be made simultaneously available to the remaining students at Ave North. In his interview he expressed a great interest in molding young minds, and has promised to use his intellectual prowess to be the best replacement possible for the dissident professor.

We are very well convinced that his penchant for bowties and engaging demeanor will provide a lasting and complete substitution for Professor Safranek, who, notwithstanding his pivotal role in establishing the Ave of yore, has failed recognize the Divine Right of Tom Monoghan. Mr Herman however, was more than willing to fall down onto bended knee and kiss the Sacred Noid Ring in a sign of filial devotion. As a commemoration of his loyalty, he will soon bear The Mark (a fairly painless brand on the back of the neck shaped like a pepperoni Pizza) when inducted into Ave South faculty, and forever swear allegiance to Mr. Monoghan, and his faithful steward, Bernie. So fear not beloved students, despite faculty unwillingness to move, replacements are already being sought out, trained and installed.

/s/ Cap'n Crunch