"How to date conservative chicks and avoid liberal chicks” from Senator Scott Hamilton

Let me first personally thank the good Senator for his contribution. We are happy to have any and all of his input here at The Real Transition Team.

The Senator speaks so well for himself and for the future of Ave- I won't belabor this intro any longer, so that our loyal readers can dive into the brilliance!

How to date conservative chicks and avoide liberil chicks from Senator Scott Hamiltin

I ussually start out with something like “listen tooots, without me you are like Geoge Bush without Karl Rove” generally, that ones a winner. I can usually get a hot chick back to my hous and bakeing cookies within 20 minutes after dropping that line. But you know, not all chick are the same. Some chickes like when I smooth talk them and drop my credientiaels on them, which es pretty sweet because that gives me time to figure out whether shes a liberal or not. Liberal chick are generally never hot, but you never know, even I’ve been known to make mistakes. I hate when they come chasing after me though when I dump them. They’re all like “Oh come back! I’ll change!!” And generally this is just a ploy for them to get to see the kitchen at my place. Sure, they’l denie it, but the only real place for a chick is in the kitchen, which is WHY I”LL FIGHT FOR THE CONSERVITIVE CAUSE TIL THE DAY I DIE: to get bitches in the kitchen. What more wurthy cause could you fight for? I have it on good authority that the MP’s in Ave Town (moreal polise) will be writing tickets for women who leave the house for any reasons save for picking up the kids, or gettin growceries. Fines can be pretty steep- and it keeps the chick in orders. Anyway, back to the discussion ats hand. In the unlikely event that you meet a chick (even a hot one) who isn’t conservative at Ave, I always carry the proper forms to get her switched over to the Republicin party. ONLY HOT CHICK ARE REPUBLICIN. I once got a Demacrat chick that was like a “6” to change parties, and she immediately became like a 10. Heck, I’d say 11, because made oatmeal cookies with my mom’s recipie that night. What a chick.

Next topic: where are you going to find the right conservative hot chick? Ave of course! ONLY HOT CHICKS GO TO AVE, BUT THE COMPATITION IS FEERCE. I’ve always wondered why there isn’t too many chicks at Ave, and have settled on Women’s Lib. Look at it this way, when they get on their knees and their skirt isn’t the right length, she’s probabli poseing as a hot conservative chick, but will be a turncote the moment you bring her take her back to yur pad to make cookies. She’d be better off at U of M or something. Only hot chicks pass the TSM test. As for the competition: when I’m faced with other dudes that are eyeing up the chick I want, I just say it like it is “I’M SENATOR HAMILTON BITCH!!” they read my blog and forget all about the other dude. I mean, sure, many of those guys are my buds and all, but scopeing out babes is bussnies.

So where are you gonna to go with your hot conservativ chick? I kind of answred this one, but I wanted to see if you’re paying attention. Hot canservative chicks only want to be in the kitchen, or perhaps the laundree room. I dig the kitchen first (becuze being a senater makes me hungry), then the laundry room (I often soyil my pants) . If she’s really hot, she’ll vacum too. Most chicks want nothing more than to feel secure with thier man. I generally assure them with something like “YOUR THE ONLY CHICK FOR ME, BABE!” This one makes them all swooney. But it’s far from over here! The right chick for Senator Hamilton is a pretty tough standard. She has to make my lunch and starch my tighty-whiteys . She’s also gonna have to help me move all my stuff to flarida when the time comes. No doubt she’s gonna dig spending her time with the “Ham

But don’t you other Ave dudes try and put my game against me. I’ll win, because no one tries to get Hamilton’s hot chicks… Or it’s fisticuffs!

/s/ Cap'n Crunch