tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-46723274211187369332024-03-05T16:43:10.578-05:00AMSOL Real Transition TeamWe formed on March 14, 2007, inspired by that day's performance of Barron Collier stock. Our forbear, the Monaghan & Sons Snowshoe Co. Transition Team (also to Florida) organized in October 1929. We will make AMSOL's trip free from pornography and the LittleCaesar's/HungryHowie's/PizzaHut axis. Thus we have reserved only those non-HBO motels outside the delivery zones of said devils. For our community's elite a trio of black helicopters can re-pizza midflight directly from Domino One.<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-75946771625488459752007-11-25T19:30:00.000-05:002007-11-25T19:32:30.780-05:00Job Interview of Ave Maria Student, Fall 2008"I see you went to Ave Maria. Didn't they finish last on the Bar Exam again?"<br /><br />"Yes, but we're moving to a beautiful new building on the beach in Naples, Florida. I'm sure our bar pass rate will improve once the students aren't distracted by pornography and sin like they are here in filthy Michigan."<br /> <br />"Hum, yes. I guess. Well...Let's see... I see you took Canon Law?"<br /><br />"Yeah. It was great. The professor taught us why Catholics are superior to everyone else. At least REAL Catholics--you know, virgins."<br /> <br />"I see. Well. ah, did you take any classes that might be more relevant to our practice here. What about Appellate Practice?<br /><br />"No. One of the evil professors taught that class. Anyone who took it was a sinner. They had to cancel it."<br /><br />"Federal Courts?<br /><br />"No. Evil."<br /><br />"Conflicts of Law?"<br /><br />"No."<br /><br />"Sales?"<br /> <br />"Oh dear God, no! That course is very evil.<br /><br />"So, none of these courses were offered?<br /><br />"None of them. All evil."<br /><br />"I see. Hum... Well, Could you tell me what you learned in the class on Catholic Social Thought...."<br /><br />"We learned that women are like raw meat. Fat people are lazy and useless How to 'preserve' evidence on a hard drive. And why some young boys are just asking for it. It was a great class,"<br /><br />"Thank you! We'll get back to you very soon."<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-90085180688324782962007-11-13T20:52:00.000-05:002007-11-13T21:11:29.261-05:00An In-Depth Look at Hamiltonian PhilosophyAs many of our good readers (and a few not-so-good ones) know, the <span style="font-style: italic;">Real</span> Transition Team recently interviewed the prestigious Senator Hamilton of Ave Maria School of Law. Due to the success of this groundbreaking behind-the-scenes look at the more personal aspects of the Senator's viewpoints in our previous post, we now take you to the newly minted, recently published, hot-off-the-press "Compendium of Hamiltonian Thought" which will soon be available for <a href="http://www.staticvariable.com/photos/images/20070128103228_bookseller.jpg">purchase</a> from a <a href="http://www.wolf-media.co.uk/assets/galleries/51/bookseller_waterloo_2005.jpg">quality retailer</a> near you. Written by your very own RTT, the book proudly describes itself as including "all of the positve, insightful, thought-provoking and intellectually rounded material we could find." This fine tome will include praise for some of Hamilton's most insightful material, as well as an shocking inside look at his own fascinating biography. The appendix includes a number of the Senator's most memorable quotes, including one that has been hailed by critics as "downright intelligent."<br /><br />For ease of reading, we have edited out the irrelevant portions and enclose for you the book in it's entirety. Remember, you saw it here first, folks!<br /><br /><blockquote><br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">................<br />..................<br />..................<br />.................<br />..............<br />.................<br />..................<br />..................<br />...............<br />...............<br />...............<br />...............<br />..........*crickets*<br />..................<br />...............<br />..................<br />...................<br />...................<br />...................<br />....................</span></blockquote><span style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"><br /></span><blockquote> </blockquote><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-45337230652057088462007-10-31T14:30:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:35.602-05:00"How to date conservative chicks and avoid liberal chicks” from Senator Scott HamiltonLet me first personally thank the good Senator for his contribution. We are happy to have any and all of his input here at <span style="font-style: italic;">The Real Transition Team</span>.<br /><br />The Senator speaks so well for himself and for the future of Ave- I won't belabor this intro any longer, so that our loyal readers can dive into the brilliance!<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">How to date conservative chicks and avoide liberil chicks </span>from <st1:personname>Senator <st2:givenname>Scott</st2:givenname> <st2:sn>Hamiltin</st2:sn></st1:personname><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZWa7kAldE_UtOrOOVMeo3TWfhJL170CGaGNo6V6hI7T-D4uq7jdD5MIpy7Eo2JMVpVnTxFLb4uy32PUL2HtBc8bzKfyAQhX3fP1Kp8U8W9EqWSaRtuPyII0w9wWbi8IPgj9-SKyaKYp_/s1600-h/baby_chicks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoZWa7kAldE_UtOrOOVMeo3TWfhJL170CGaGNo6V6hI7T-D4uq7jdD5MIpy7Eo2JMVpVnTxFLb4uy32PUL2HtBc8bzKfyAQhX3fP1Kp8U8W9EqWSaRtuPyII0w9wWbi8IPgj9-SKyaKYp_/s320/baby_chicks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5127572475937925890" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I ussually start out with something like “listen tooots, without me you are like <st1:personname><st2:givenname>Geoge</st2:givenname> <st2:sn>Bush</st2:sn></st1:personname> without <st1:personname><st2:givenname>Karl</st2:givenname> <st2:sn>Rove</st2:sn></st1:personname>”<span style=""> </span>generally, that ones a winner.<span style=""> </span>I can usually get a hot chick back to my hous and bakeing cookies within 20 minutes after dropping that line.<span style=""> </span>But you know, not all chick are the same.<span style=""> </span>Some chickes like when I smooth talk them and <a href="http://senatorhamilton.blogspot.com/2007/10/my-other-fellow-senators-think-i-am.html">drop my credientiaels on them</a>, which es pretty sweet because that gives me time to figure out whether shes a liberal or not.<span style=""> </span>Liberal chick are generally never hot, but you never know, even I’ve been known to make mistakes.<span style=""> </span>I hate when they come chasing after me though when I dump them.<span style=""> </span>They’re all like “Oh come back!<span style=""> </span>I’ll change!!” And generally this is just a ploy for them to get to see the kitchen at my place.<span style=""> </span>Sure, they’l denie it, but the only real place for a chick is in the kitchen, which is WHY I”LL FIGHT FOR THE CONSERVITIVE CAUSE TIL THE DAY I DIE:<span style=""> </span>to get bitches in the kitchen.<span style=""> </span>What more wurthy cause could you fight for?<span style=""> </span>I have it on good authority that the <a href="http://www.fiftiesweb.com/tv/hogans-heroes-2.jpg">MP’s in <st1:place><st1:placename>Ave</st1:placename> <st1:placetype>Town</st1:placetype></st1:place> (moreal polise) </a>will be writing tickets for women who leave the house for any reasons save for picking up the kids, or gettin growceries.<span style=""> </span>Fines can be pretty steep- and it keeps the chick in orders.<span style=""> </span>Anyway, back to the discussion ats hand.<span style=""> </span>In the unlikely event that you meet a chick (even a hot one) who isn’t conservative at Ave, I always carry the proper forms to get her switched over to the Republicin party.<span style=""> </span><a href="http://z.about.com/d/womenshistory/1/7/n/A/barbara_bush_400.jpg">ONLY HOT CHICK ARE REPUBLICIN</a>.<span style=""> </span>I once got a Demacrat chick that was like a “6” to change parties, and she immediately became like a 10.<span style=""> </span>Heck, I’d say 11, because made oatmeal cookies with my mom’s recipie that night.<span style=""> </span>What a chick.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Next topic:<span style=""> </span>where are you going to find the right conservative hot chick?<span style=""> </span>Ave of course!<span style=""> </span>ONLY HOT CHICKS GO TO AVE, <a href="http://anthonyandhelen.com/resized/CRW_9610Resized.jpg">BUT THE COMPATITION IS FEERCE</a>.<span style=""> </span>I’ve always wondered why there isn’t too many chicks at Ave, and have settled on Women’s Lib.<span style=""> </span>Look at it this way, when they get on their knees and their skirt isn’t the right length, she’s probabli poseing as a hot conservative chick, but will be a turncote the moment you bring her take her back to yur pad to make cookies.<span style=""> </span>She’d be better off at U of M or something.<span style=""> </span>Only hot chicks pass the TSM test.<span style=""> </span>As for the competition:<span style=""> </span>when I’m faced with other dudes that are eyeing up the chick I want, I just say it like it is “<a href="http://senatorhamilton.blogspot.com/2007/10/bring-it-on.html">I’M SENATOR HAMILTON BITCH!!</a>”<span style=""> </span>they read my blog and forget all about the other dude.<span style=""> </span>I mean, sure, many of those guys are my buds and all, but scopeing out babes is bussnies.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So where are you gonna to go with your hot conservativ chick?<span style=""> </span>I kind of answred this one, but I wanted to see if you’re paying attention.<span style=""> </span>Hot canservative chicks only want to be in the kitchen, or perhaps the laundree room.<span style=""> </span>I dig the kitchen first (becuze being a senater makes me hungry), then the laundry room (I often soyil my pants) .<span style=""> </span>If she’s really hot, she’ll vacum too.<span style=""> </span>Most chicks want nothing more than to feel secure with thier man.<span style=""> </span>I generally assure them with something like “YOUR THE ONLY CHICK FOR ME, BABE!”<span style=""> </span>This one makes them all swooney.<span style=""> </span>But it’s far from over here!<span style=""> </span>The right chick for Senator Hamilton is a pretty tough standard.<span style=""> </span>She has to make my lunch and starch my tighty-whiteys .<span style=""> </span><a href="http://senatorhamilton.blogspot.com/2007/10/i-cant-wait-to-move-to-florida.html">She’s also gonna have to help me move all my stuff to flarida when the time comes</a>.<span style=""> </span>No doubt she’s gonna dig spending her time with the “Ham</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But don’t you other Ave dudes try and put my game against me.<span style=""> </span>I’ll win, because no one tries to get <st1:city><st1:place><st2:sn>Hamilton</st2:sn></st1:place></st1:city>’s hot chicks… Or it’s fisticuffs!</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">/s/ Cap'n Crunch<br /></p><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-85839472622401828692007-09-14T16:13:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:36.187-05:00Interview with Kate O'Beirne<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGFA_xfk6bB4XLq57PxNPwb914z7ASr158ue68qDr1OjtBED0hUchLTh9sengyrWvcnHRBR86-mupO3yoW7tMwsRhT5eBJ_GbqGxlIMYB2qjmNMaQfvLIzSLZVvU31dBxkKXYWeKN1Xu9/s1600-h/O'Bierne.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLGFA_xfk6bB4XLq57PxNPwb914z7ASr158ue68qDr1OjtBED0hUchLTh9sengyrWvcnHRBR86-mupO3yoW7tMwsRhT5eBJ_GbqGxlIMYB2qjmNMaQfvLIzSLZVvU31dBxkKXYWeKN1Xu9/s320/O'Bierne.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5110158009296374034" border="0" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><st2:personname><st1:givenname>Kate</st1:givenname> <st1:sn>O'Beirne</st1:sn></st2:personname>, pictured with two of her interns and prospective students for the incoming class of 2011 will be available to address <a href="http://www.mirrorofjustice.com/mirrorofjustice/2007/09/moj-joint-state.html">recent criticism</a> of the administration and board of AMSOL.<span style=""> </span>The Real Transition Team has been given a brief interview with <st1:sn>O’Beirne</st1:sn> in order to get her opinion on these issues in a more private audience. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>After being sworn in (actually, a rather painless process that only leaves the oath taker with a lasting hatred for bowties, <st2:city><st2:place>ABA</st2:place></st2:city> regulations, and faculty resolutions) we were able to get right down to brass tacks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">RTT:<span style=""> </span>“a number of prominent professors have recently published their disapproval of the administration of AMSOL on Mirror of Justice.<span style=""> </span>What is your take on this?”<o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:sn>O’Beirne</st1:sn>: “HUMPF!!...Exactly how do you define prominent?!<span style=""> </span>Anyone can publish on the internet!<span style=""> </span>Try being a TV star like me…MMFH!!<span style=""> </span>Besides which, I have it on good word that neither the professors, nor MOJ actually exist. Look at the <a href="http://paradoxae.com/paradoxae.html">link </a>Bernie gave me. See? it's all lie, and I can't wait to tell the students that. MMFH!!"<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">RTT:<span style=""> </span>“um, yea.<span style=""> </span>Ok.<span style=""> </span>So, what is your take on the suspension and possible termination of <st2:personname><st1:title>Professor</st1:title> <st1:sn>Safranek</st1:sn></st2:personname>?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:sn>O’Beirne</st1:sn>:<span style=""> </span>“FRMMMM!!<span style=""> </span>OOH!!! That man! Let me tell you.<span style=""> </span>I had to swing by to see my <st1:givenname>Bernie</st1:givenname> one day.<span style=""> </span>I was all tootled up in a fine evening gown and that bowtie wearing sicko had the nerve to come over and wish me a good evening!! Ooh the nerve!<span style=""> </span>I hope he gets what he deserves!”<o:p><br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">RTT:<span style=""> </span>“Ok, while we’re on the subject.<span style=""> </span>I’m sure the students will be asking about <st1:sn>Lyons</st1:sn> and Pucillo being denied tenure.<span style=""> </span>Do you feel the <st1:givenname>Dean</st1:givenname> was justified?”<o:p><br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:sn>O’Beirne</st1:sn>:<span style=""> </span>“HUMPH!!! of course.<span style=""> </span>Those two clowns did nothing but deter the students from their work with that <i style="">look at me I’m a </i><st2:personname><st1:title><i style="">Mr.</i></st1:title><i style=""> </i><st1:sn><i style="">Niceguy</i></st1:sn></st2:personname> stuff.<span style=""> </span>What right does a professor have to talk to students outside of the classroom unless they are telling them to work harder on research?!<span style=""> </span>OOOOHHH!<span style=""> </span>And that Pucillo with his <i style="">clerkship</i> talk.<span style=""> </span>Big deal!<span style=""> </span>I work for the National Review, I know people!<span style=""> </span>I’m important!<span style=""> </span>All of these professors are easily replaceable.<span style=""> </span>We have <a href="http://www.classic-tv.com/shows/images/nightcourt.jpg">a new team of clerkship advisors</a> that know the courts as well as Pucillo ever did!"<o:p></o:p><br /><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">RTT:<span style=""> </span>“So you feel that the school continues to move in the right direction?”<o:p><br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:sn>O’Beirne</st1:sn>:<span style=""> </span>“of course, you silly fool!<span style=""> </span>And our new campus will have plenty of mud for me to wallow in. Uhh…. I mean there will be plenty of professors that follow the school down to <st2:place><st2:placename>Ave</st2:placename> <st2:placetype>Town</st2:placetype></st2:place>.<span style=""> </span>It’ll be great, <st1:givenname>Bernie</st1:givenname>’s in the process of picking out a new southern wardrobe, and is excited that his hip will be feeling better in the warmer weather.”<o:p><br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">RTT:<span style=""> </span>“plenty of professors will be moving with the school you say.<span style=""> </span>Do you have an exact number?”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><st1:sn>O’Beirne</st1:sn>:<span style=""> </span>“well, it depends on how many stay still enough for <a href="http://wsuccess.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/borg_1.jpg">retrofitting .</a><o:p><br /></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">RTT:<span style=""> </span>“ahh yes, we’ve heard of this retrofitting.<span style=""> </span>Well, I hate to belabor you any longer with these trivial questions.<span style=""> </span>We have students to transition! Thank you for your time”</p><br /><p class="MsoNormal">/s/ Cap'n Crunch<br /></p><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-22146501944932452572007-09-12T11:36:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:36.403-05:00The Fall Line-Up<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9trPgv8TGH-C3P2DvCEfRYnMMFXhuXGEr39wcIwgaVQKhuDDKui4htSYfUXgRcTMS6tr7hbPhFVXHVTvyA4wz8FY-jiCpwaobsbt1gCUfe4UTubYmnC26TyJmcDhql71WEjb7bHywYFoJ/s1600-h/wonderbread.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9trPgv8TGH-C3P2DvCEfRYnMMFXhuXGEr39wcIwgaVQKhuDDKui4htSYfUXgRcTMS6tr7hbPhFVXHVTvyA4wz8FY-jiCpwaobsbt1gCUfe4UTubYmnC26TyJmcDhql71WEjb7bHywYFoJ/s320/wonderbread.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5109343099381500146" border="0" /></a><br /> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Many of us can think back with fondness to our early years at Ave and the excellent examples of scholarly debate to which students were treated. Remember the Strang vs. Bromberg debates on constitutional interpretation? How about Pucillo’s very popular talk on each year’s Supreme Court docket? Ahh, those were the days when students could truly be educated AND well-informed on current legal issues. Well, as the Dean has informed us, “…those professors have been nothing but affirmatively injurious, and as such have turned their backs on the school because they’re nothing more than no-good traitors who deserve whatever fate Tom decides to throw down upon them.” When asked about future scholarly debates such as those we’ve seen in the past, the Dean replied, “Well, I’ve never heard of these people you mentioned, and I certainly don’t recall any such debates or presentations, but rest assured, we’ve got some wonderful programs in store for the Fall!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">And sure enough, the agents of the Real Transition Team were lucky enough to locate the Dean’s agenda for upcoming talks and debates for the Fall; we’ll certainly be the first in line for these:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">“Chinese Food vs. Pizza Delivery”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">This riveting debate will feature the manager of Dynasty Chinese Food up against the manager of the nearest Domino’s Pizza franchise. These sage individuals will grapple over the best methodology for keeping food warm while in en route to the customer’s home, the “30 minutes or it’s free” farce, and the longstanding question of whether only Communists eat Chinese food. We have asked both managers to be sure and discuss the originalist vs. evolutive theories during their talks, which were met with an unusual blank stare. If all else fails, they've promised to wrestle. [Domino’s and fortune cookies will be served.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">“The Fall Docket of Reality Television”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">With the new fall schedule of television programming coming up, it is imperative that Ave students choose their programming with all of the information possibly available. A special guest speaker (note: Can we get special speaker? Sorority sister, etc.? –BD) will outline all of the season’s most popular programming, including, “So You Think You Can Dance?” “So You Think You Can Eat?” “So You Think You Can Franchise a School?” and “So You Think You Can Build Another Jonestown?” As they say in the biz, “Stay tuned!” [Chips and Kool-Aid will be served.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">“Wonder Bread: The Misunderstood Foodstuff”</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Racism is overly prevalent in today’s society. From blogs to network news, sophisticated readers and law students can pull a racist thought out of anything. Such is the case with Wonder Bread. Our special guest, The Reverend Al Sharpton, will come to speak on the vileness of white bread. The vile, racist, trash that is white bread. Why doesn’t Wonder Bread make black bread? Why? The Reverend will tell you why: Pure, simple racism. [No bread will be served during this event. Maybe whine and cheese? Er, wine.]</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">How exciting? We can hardly wait to see what’s next!<o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">s/OZA</p><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-74918470960216255332007-09-12T02:34:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:36.534-05:00The Real Transition Team: Superhuman, but not Divine<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXrrt01Mck7cGYFayIHtZIWoGZ9SUOeKQB_RShRaJ386fBBJbXxiXzHKqaQ2-aCpcT53eFB7loH7k_ykex7nusQTxdHq3AQRgxThroyPULZYDmWLDhPwSJR7SO1IvNEyhCtuFxFU0fy2_/s1600-h/The+Real+Transition+Team.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinXrrt01Mck7cGYFayIHtZIWoGZ9SUOeKQB_RShRaJ386fBBJbXxiXzHKqaQ2-aCpcT53eFB7loH7k_ykex7nusQTxdHq3AQRgxThroyPULZYDmWLDhPwSJR7SO1IvNEyhCtuFxFU0fy2_/s320/The+Real+Transition+Team.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5109202649655953634" border="0" /></a><br /><span class="q"><p>In the year of Our Lord 2006 The Real Transition Team was formed amongst a loose group of persons hoping to spread the spirit of <i>transition</i> to as many readers as possible.<span> </span>That journey has not been without incident. <span> </span>Having made use of AMSoL communication technology,<span> </span>sending and receiving communications from Domino One has often proved difficult.<span> </span>We are thorougly convinced however that the new <i>Moraltech</i> ™ technology will allow for greater information gathering and dispersal.<span> </span></p></span> <p>Posts have been lost.<span> </span>We realize that these posts have been lost to the gaping hole of internet obscurity, and as well, our posters solemnly swear to increase their self-flagellation in accordance with their Ave-fessions.<span> </span>But rest assured, dear readership, that we remain ever faithful to our founder, funder, and architect's decree:<span> </span>"who farted?".<span> </span><br /></p><span class="q"> <p>Now that a majority of the gas has cleared, OZA has taken a large amount of beano, and having taken into account the concerns of his fellow members in the super secret society known as the Real Transition Team, we are moving forward.</p></span><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-69830533323777749212007-09-07T04:45:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:37.422-05:00New Transition Tees AvailibleThe <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Transition Team</span> can nos provide you with the opportunity to support Transition in a snazzy new way. Show those dissidents what you think of their terrorist message with the comfort of 100% cotton, and say, "Hey, I like doing what's comfortable!"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFVQjrfXNB15QZ46KyZ7I-LXayMk_J83rc4l1zMsFsJ1TbfltmfSEg6SLZyEadz3AmrisgUUQrA6NqI-vNb9IpQ6jtCjMR1_F9l0k3DxgAvRlJeklhEll39PsTY99i94A1l5_lBaLxZo1/s1600-h/-1.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFVQjrfXNB15QZ46KyZ7I-LXayMk_J83rc4l1zMsFsJ1TbfltmfSEg6SLZyEadz3AmrisgUUQrA6NqI-vNb9IpQ6jtCjMR1_F9l0k3DxgAvRlJeklhEll39PsTY99i94A1l5_lBaLxZo1/s320/-1.jpeg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107381320035805074" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYbqXtVN3QQEhMSbueSt6TSkvBgURS5pVhTShWQYIpcD81qmYZM3Mo2arymslhzdV0s_N84zPXampnd2GK7Q_XB4K6q5Q_tMCS47wJr3EoYcv8tCBbppswxGcNYYxGqf860mayqlV9a-tt/s1600-h/TSM_bitch.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYbqXtVN3QQEhMSbueSt6TSkvBgURS5pVhTShWQYIpcD81qmYZM3Mo2arymslhzdV0s_N84zPXampnd2GK7Q_XB4K6q5Q_tMCS47wJr3EoYcv8tCBbppswxGcNYYxGqf860mayqlV9a-tt/s320/TSM_bitch.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5107381174006916994" border="0" /></a><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-60190048774979463302007-08-29T00:51:00.001-04:002008-12-09T22:40:37.860-05:00MoralTech Department scheduled to open soon<st1:personname>Father <st2:sn>Orsi</st2:sn></st1:personname>, standing next to the Moraltech mainframe is buzzing with excitement about the grand opening of the Moraltech (MT) department at Ave Maria university in <st1:state><st1:place>Florida</st1:place></st1:state> “This is where theology meets technology! We can now go one step beyond a mere absolution and erase any potential evidence that the moral infraction ever occurred”<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvVpRGL6lhG8ivJOc2PqQaacGhs3co3EK_4ieXXXntj0tGH6DF_Mu990fsvurnIAj1K4AuoU1w3svNeT7plcor-wAnNNWW06715uLsk371Mu3UzRmSyZ4jAcN4FTrLYeK9hNZB0etJxoYQ/s1600-h/orsi+it+service.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvVpRGL6lhG8ivJOc2PqQaacGhs3co3EK_4ieXXXntj0tGH6DF_Mu990fsvurnIAj1K4AuoU1w3svNeT7plcor-wAnNNWW06715uLsk371Mu3UzRmSyZ4jAcN4FTrLYeK9hNZB0etJxoYQ/s320/orsi+it+service.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5103979854285809794" border="0" /></a><o:p> </o:p> <p class="MsoNormal">It is a wonder indeed, and we at the Real Transition Team expect long lines at the confessional/data alteration unit.<span style=""> </span>Some students have already begun to call the process an Ave-fession.<span style=""> </span>The new MT department will be starting up soon, and is in the process of hiring a full-time staff to handle whatever deletion needs they are faced with.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ave-fession. Like it never even happened.</p><p class="MsoNormal">/s/ Cap'n Crunch</p><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-90815671990399879142007-08-29T00:35:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:38.315-05:001L student gets private audience with Tom Monaghan<p class="MsoNormal">“It was like WHOOA!!!” said <st2:personname><st1:givenname>Elroy</st1:givenname> <st1:sn>Hogwaller</st1:sn></st2:personname> a wide-eyed 1L explaining his experience after being given the unique opportunity to have a private audience with <st2:personname><st1:givenname>Tom</st1:givenname> <st1:sn>Monaghan</st1:sn></st2:personname>.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Before starting their first year, Monaghan likes to visit with one student- to get a good read on the incoming class.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">This particular student, Along with receiving a full scholarship, car, parking pass, free rent, and a contract for deed in Imokalee, was shown one of Tom’s many secret powers in this private audience.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQXQQUgLsa81my3m2-ODg_IRwSHCkAluoX1AEH0lbiURqF4_yiTGlbBGPFkMhWb2g_3yfgxOtUtpfXSBj7a7U-cXwghY9tPKwzdnjR6Gvqb9dP26E_mT_Ceg7IXG_sidCCvvA8Bx5YNhAX/s1600-h/tom+death+star_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQXQQUgLsa81my3m2-ODg_IRwSHCkAluoX1AEH0lbiURqF4_yiTGlbBGPFkMhWb2g_3yfgxOtUtpfXSBj7a7U-cXwghY9tPKwzdnjR6Gvqb9dP26E_mT_Ceg7IXG_sidCCvvA8Bx5YNhAX/s320/tom+death+star_1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5103978043785029394" border="0" /></a><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hogwaller, a graduate of southwestern coastal college of wood, storm doors, and shiny things, with a degree in incest prevention expressed nothing but gratitude after the 3 minute meeting.<span style=""> </span>“Ave is the best! All those other law schools with their book-learnin’ smartypants stuff about job placement and stability are just load horseflop. <span style=""> </span>I can’t wait to get learnin’ and spread the word!”<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-_IZML1i7RBfEjAeNMQ7ydG6cgaf1oAg9VX9mNuaWyFT-2-kI5_MnQcMzAugSMR3YpPZRuWRx8GQqtBpjueMzP6V2pW8N0hyHJ3p5X6tauADEXrG93SYBo_8KVIAZejjJBlaOAksegapS/s1600-h/redneck_mentor.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-_IZML1i7RBfEjAeNMQ7ydG6cgaf1oAg9VX9mNuaWyFT-2-kI5_MnQcMzAugSMR3YpPZRuWRx8GQqtBpjueMzP6V2pW8N0hyHJ3p5X6tauADEXrG93SYBo_8KVIAZejjJBlaOAksegapS/s320/redneck_mentor.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5103978254238426914" border="0" /></a> </p> <p class="MsoNormal">Elroy (shown with his, um, relative) is but a sampling of the fine incoming class chose to go to Ave after turning down an offer for admission at <st1:sn><st2:city><st2:place>Whittier</st2:place></st2:city></st1:sn> law school.<span style=""> </span>“I’m not going to go to a school with such a high attrition rate!<span style=""> </span>At least Ave can keep it’s students, I mean, hardly anyone leaves here, think of all<span style=""> </span>all the free pizza! Oh, and the moraltech support… I get confessions and deletions in 30 minutes or less.<span style=""> </span>Beat that!”</p>/s/ Cap'n Crunch<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-81262138629508071362007-08-22T17:55:00.000-04:002007-08-22T17:58:02.244-04:00Monaghan Announces New Mascot Contest!This morning, at 6:42 eastern time, Tom Monaghan, King of the Corkscrew, announced a contest that is sure to be a hit with believers and dissidents alike. Mr. Monaghan wants you to provide the new mascot for the Ave Maria Gyrenes, both in image and in name. Please forward your suggestions to <a href="mailto:amsoltransitionteam@gmail.com">amsoltransitionteam@gmail.com</a>, and we'll post the winner and other transition-minded submissions in the near future.<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-58510128315093347562007-08-16T21:24:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:38.704-05:00Monaghan has "just the trick" for Affirmative Injury<div><div><div><div><div><a href="https://dnbweb1.blackbaud.com/OPXREPHIL/charityimage.asp?logo=1&cid=702"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 326px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="474" alt="" src="https://dnbweb1.blackbaud.com/OPXREPHIL/charityimage.asp?logo=1&cid=702" border="0" /></a><br /><div><div>With college football season right around the corner, and affirmative injury to the Mission of the School at an all-time high, the benevolent and far-seeing Monaghan has seen fit to decree that Ave Maria University in Ave Maria Town, Florida—the Biggest Little Catholic Stronghold in America—in its continuing effort to be the best in everything, including intercollegiate athletics, will have no fewer than SIX fight songs, where most schools only have one or two. "This ought to do just the trick," quipped Monaghan. "Who can be angry when a fight song is playing?"<br /><br />Additionally, Mr. Monaghan, with his divine foresight, has decided to appropriate these songs from six of the most successful and well-loved schools in the country, under the belief that such an action will undoubtedly take the wind out of the sails of these ruffians in the upcoming season.<br /><br />So, without further adieu, the lyrics of the new Ave fight songs (preceded by the old, outdated lyrics with links to their former bands playing the songs for your listening pleasure.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_NxSTX0jkc">Notre Dame<br />Notre Dame Victory March</a></div><div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5099478940988417778" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv0vPj3VyUz6hpVtlvQLMSY0bHfhKNTaRWqZaiKJw-dF6cGLYVrP1_6iUCYuBxsXFGxiTDNolOXESE084TSJ-27ZWUftw1OWHJ4ngSJbN3yVmO_i8NiseuZ5SxvQ9qODAbhohSeteXIoWr/s400/NotreDame_Logo1.jpg" border="0" /><br />Rally sons of Notre Dame,</div><div>Sing her glory, and sound her fame</div><div>Raise her Gold and Blue,</div><div>And cheer with voices true,</div><div>Rah! Rah! For Notre Dame. </div><br /><div>We will fight in every game</div><div>Strong of heart and true to her name.</div><div>We will ne'er forget her</div><div>And we'll cheer her ever,</div><div>Loyal to Notre Dame. </div><div> </div><div>Cheer, cheer for Old Notre Dame</div><div>Wake up the echoes cheering her name,</div><div>Send the volley cheer on high,</div><div>Shake down the thunder from the sky,</div><div>What though the odds be great or small</div><div>Old Notre Dame will win over all,</div><div>While her loyal sons are marching</div><div>Onward to Victory.<br /></div><div><strong>Ave Town Victory Song</strong><br /><br />Followers of Monaghan<br />Come to Ave, come get a tan!<br />With a hearty crew<br />We’ll cheer with voices true,<br />Rah! Rah! For Ave U<br /><br />We will do what Tom decrees<br />Weak of mind and strong in the knees!<br />We’ll ask questions never<br />Dissidents we’ll sever<br />Loyal to Ave U<br /><br />Cheer, cheer for Tom Monaghan<br />Get him a beer and call him the man<br />Buy a place in Ave Town<br />Sip on some Kool-Aid, you’ll never frown!<br />Be there dissenters, many or few<br />Ol’ Monaghan will take care of you!<br />While his loyal pawns are marching<br />Onward to Victory!<br /><br /><a href="http://tbdbitl.osu.edu/media/audio/across_the_field.mp3">Ohio State </a><br /></div><div><a href="http://tbdbitl.osu.edu/media/audio/across_the_field.mp3">"Across the Field"</a><br /></div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.firehouseneon.com/images/Ohio%20State.JPG" border="0" /><br /><br /><div>Fight the team across the field </div><div>Show them Ohio's here, </div><div>Set the earth reverberating </div><div>With a mighty cheer, Rah! Rah! Rah! </div><div>Hit them hard and see how they fall, </div><div>Never let that team get the ball, </div><div>Hail, hail, the gang's all here, </div><div>So let's win that old conference now.<br /><br /><strong>Across the Country</strong><br /><br />Take the road to Ave Town<br />And Monaghan revere<br />He is such a brilliant man<br />That we should stand and cheer,<br />Rah! Rah! Rah!<br />Deep dish, thin crust, he has it all,<br />And for just a toll-free phone call!<br />Hail, hail, it’s Domino’s<br />That’ll pay for the Ave Town.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNNNgNUkNWo">Fight On<br />USC</a><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.flagline.com/images/univ/usc-banner-2.jpg" border="0" /><br />Fight On for ol' SC</div><div>Our men Fight On to victory</div><div>Our Alma Mater dear,looks up to you</div><div>Fight On and win</div><div>For ol' SC</div><div>Fight On to victory</div><div>Fight On!<br /><br /><strong>Fight On</strong><br /><br />Fight On for Monaghan<br />The minions trust his Master Plan<br />Now tenure’s out of here!<br />We trust in you<br />Fight on and win<br />For Ave U<br />Fight on, there’s much to do<br />Fight On!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYI1SIRSErQ">Michigan<br />The Victors</a><br /></div><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.uah.edu/Athletics/logo/hockey/michigan.gif" border="0" /><br />Hail! to the victors valiant<br />Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes<br />Hail! Hail! to Michigan<br />the leaders and best<br /></div><div>Hail! to the victors valiant<br />Hail! to the conqu'ring heroes<br />Hail! Hail! to Michigan,<br />the champions of the West!<br /><br /><strong>The Minions</strong><br /><br />Hail! To the loyal minions<br />Hell with the damned dissenters<br />Hail! Hail! To Monaghan<br />The leader and best<br /><br />Hail! to the loyal minions<br />Hell! with the damned dissenters<br />Hail! Hail! To Monaghan<br />The man dressed to impress!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTw1RTrwITs">Texas<br />The Eyes of Texas</a><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.utlacrosse.com/images/Texas_2653.gif" border="0" /><br />The eyes of Texas are upon you,<br />All the live long day.<br />The eyes of Texas are upon you,<br />You cannot get away.<br />Do not think you can escape them,<br />At night, or early in the morn'.<br />The eyes of Texas are upon you,<br />'Till <a title="Gabriel" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabriel">Gabriel</a> blows his horn!<br /><br /><strong>The Eyes of Monaghan</strong><br /><br />They eyes of Monaghan are on you<br />All the live long day.<br />The eyes of Monaghan are on you<br />You cannot get away<br />Do not think you can escape them<br />At night or early in the morn’<br />The eyes of Monaghan are on you<br />‘Till he discovers porn!<br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmD4867VlK4">Texas A&M<br />Aggie War Hymn</a><br /><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.kickoffzone.com/articles/images/TexasA&M_Logo1.jpg" border="0" /><br />Good bye to Texas University <div>So long to the orange and the white</div><div>Good luck to dear old Texas Aggies</div><div>They are the boys who show the real old fight</div><div>'the eyes of Texas are upon you'</div><div>That is the song they sing so well</div><div>Sounds Like Hell</div><div>So good bye to Texas University</div><div>We're gonna beat you all to Chigaroogarem</div><div>Chigaroogarem</div><div>Rough, Tough, Real stuff, Texas A&M<br /><br /><strong>Ave Road Hymn</strong><br /><br />Goodbye to Ol’ Ann Arbor, Michigan<br />So long to culture, art and all of that<br />Good luck to Ave University<br />They are the boys who show some loyalty<br />Four seasons there to confront you<br />That is the life they love so well<br />Snows like Hell!<br />So goodbye to Ol’ Ann Arbor, Michigan<br />We’re gonna hit the swamp right near the Everglades<br />Near the Everglades<br />Rough, Tough, Real stuff, Tommy Monaghan</div></div></div></div></div></div></div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com92tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-4801517676573183042007-07-29T11:13:00.000-04:002007-07-29T11:31:46.169-04:00Steve Safranek "Bowtie Brigade" Recruiting Measure Meets With Mixed Response<a href="http://www.highlandxpress.com/clothing/bowtie.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.highlandxpress.com/clothing/bowtie.jpg" border="0" /></a> In response to recent AMSOL proceedings regarding controversial Professor Stephen Safrank, a grassroots movement, calling themselves, quite simply the "Steve Safranek Bowtie Brigade" has spung up. So far, this small but quickly growng movement has already recruited one member.<br /><br />"Things are looking hopeful", says the self-proclaimed President of the Brigade. "By my calculations, we should have a vice president within the next week. From there, who knows? Anything is possible."<br /><br /><div>I'm not so sure about this, mused Mildred Finknottle of Ann Arbor's famed (but allegeldy mythical) "Finknottle Finance". "After all, who is this Safranek fellow, anyways?" </div><div></div><div>Meanwhile, actual students were more enthused. Some even suggested a companion drive involving the sale of those giant bowties - the ones too big to fit into a standard UPS envelope. Some of the more proactive members have suggested that proceeds be used to purchase property adjacent to AMSOL for the purposes of founding a new law school. Others remain skeptical. "I'm not so sure about that", one student dubiously noted, "after all, its not like this is going to meet the success of say, a worldwide pizza franchise." </div><div></div><div>Though Mr. Thomas Monaghan refused to comment on this, the <em>Real Transition Team</em> is confident that he would have agreed. </div><div></div><div>(Individuals interested in supporting the Bowtie Brigade are encouraged to contact them via the RTT's e-mail link on the right using "Bowtie Brigade" in the subject line).</div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-27792510675409492332007-06-27T21:06:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:38.905-05:00Morale consultants help with transitionThe <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Transition Team </span>continues to work tirelessly on behalf of the Executive Team of Ave Maria Town and associated institutions in order that the ranks of little people can share (as they are able) in the Vision of Our Founder, Supreme Chancellor Thomas S. Monaghan. Our expert techno-logists continue to stress that one crucial front in the battle for America's souls is the "blog-o-sphere" --- to be specific, the affirmatively injurious <a href="http://www.fumare.blogspot.com/" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)">weblogs</a> referenced by Dean Dobranski in his recent <a href="http://avewatch.org/cyberduck/amsl_2007_06_alum.pdf" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)">communique</a> to the mutinous members of the Ave Maria School of Law Alumni Board (more to come on that soon).<br /><br />To combat this this threat from the Devil himself, the <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Transition Team </span>has hired a team of <a href="http://shorewatch.com/db4/00377/shorewatch.com/_uimages/ACFE-seal.jpg" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)"> morale consultants</a> for a reasonable fee that will be absorbed by student activity charges next year.<br /><br />In light of certain affirmatively injurious <a href="http://www.avewatch.com/files/7d382a3257300f915bbb0881be103b51-89.html" target="_blank" onclick="return top.js.OpenExtLink(window,event,this)"> news reports</a>, the consultants have focused first on boosting morale at Ave Maria School of the Americas (affectionately refered to as "Ave Noreiga" by the <span style="font-style: italic;">Team</span>). However, in the spirit of full and open communication, the <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Transition Team </span>would like to share the consultants' efforts with the entire Ave Maria community:<br /><br /><img src="" alt="" /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijmaEN67Zp_ovnSEqLo6gDjsOqJlbdJ83dTFXYOK0LCEVfcY4omwNvYRHnM4x1DsWcUoJGcgnEklVs0MPeDZilESaz92aq-j9EMn_SsAV8wmDcQgf580AfNfTwoWZDctR151ObAL-U8pgu/s1600-h/Tomao_jpg.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijmaEN67Zp_ovnSEqLo6gDjsOqJlbdJ83dTFXYOK0LCEVfcY4omwNvYRHnM4x1DsWcUoJGcgnEklVs0MPeDZilESaz92aq-j9EMn_SsAV8wmDcQgf580AfNfTwoWZDctR151ObAL-U8pgu/s320/Tomao_jpg.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5080915827247186338" border="0" /></a><br />Look for more inspiring work at an Ave institution near you!<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-21207885315467624602007-06-14T22:23:00.000-04:002007-06-14T22:25:33.630-04:00Happy Father's DayA special <a href="http://www.confedalot.com/KIPP486.jpg">message</a> for everyone from the <em>Real Transition Team</em>.<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-47347927467067789712007-06-07T02:10:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:39.269-05:00Ave Maria Town Legal Aid Clinic Schedules Grand OpeningWe've done it again! The <span style="font-style: italic;">Real</span> Transition Team is once again at the forefront of the foreswamp, brining you the latest from the Utopian paradise of Ave Maria Town, FL.<br /><br />This time, we are happy to report that AMSOL has teamed up with our kind and gracious supporter to present the newest legal aid addition to Ave Town - the AMSOL <span style="font-style: italic;">Center For Law, Justice and All That Good Stuff.<br /></span><br />"We're excited", said Dean Bernard Dobranski in an interview last week. "We couldn't have ever anticipated that such a <a href="http://www.123posters.com/images/movie/f-stooges7.jpg">prestigious local firm</a> would so graciously lend us the resources to further such a noble pursuit. We are truly blessed."<br /><br />AMSOL Administration anticipates that the CFLJATGS (as it is currently referred) will offer several clinics to incoming 1Ls in order to instill in them a <a href="http://prawfsblawg.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/cartoon_lawyer_1.jpg">true, humanitarian ethic. </a><br /><br />Mark your calendars. The Grand Opening celebration is tenatively scheduled for August 2009.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggp6oRW8m7NWqFfkq203Nv7SPZjPStn-V9EHeYAOMun0WnXegRaJQy-0e5anQyJmSJAlR3FGLFpPilbsPwdXhrR9BRWqDIQ6QyDSL54-G8T44RpnVy5qgY5izJeTwNiqkGYt1Qw3fGH0nm/s1600-h/LawOffice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggp6oRW8m7NWqFfkq203Nv7SPZjPStn-V9EHeYAOMun0WnXegRaJQy-0e5anQyJmSJAlR3FGLFpPilbsPwdXhrR9BRWqDIQ6QyDSL54-G8T44RpnVy5qgY5izJeTwNiqkGYt1Qw3fGH0nm/s320/LawOffice.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5073205244369195714" border="0" /></a><br />/s/ Deus Ex<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-9856696241623947762007-06-05T13:51:00.001-04:002008-12-09T22:40:39.277-05:00Aaron Keesler Appointed Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8s_LNKM7uz1WGMdKyr42V4O486LFiqxPQVR3WRxBOm7v3UTRF9wk8fLr4Xwq8geV-p4U9nBfjNDwvOI1C55YFOoR7TzsmNX3gCuiIxizpNjFYMKL1a1hF7RbesAqKOjsEh4_XXrW-W65j/s1600-h/lurch.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072639549931672242" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8s_LNKM7uz1WGMdKyr42V4O486LFiqxPQVR3WRxBOm7v3UTRF9wk8fLr4Xwq8geV-p4U9nBfjNDwvOI1C55YFOoR7TzsmNX3gCuiIxizpNjFYMKL1a1hF7RbesAqKOjsEh4_XXrW-W65j/s400/lurch.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>The Transition Team is happy to report that Aaron Keesler, AMSOL '05, has been appointed to the newly-created position of Assistant Dean of Academic Affairs. Keesler, pictured above in an uncharacteristically cheerful mood, stated that he was delighted with the appointment, and our very own Dean Dobranski echoed the sentiment. "We are grateful to have the opportunity to work with Aaron and trash his reputation by associating with us," the Dean said in a statement. Details about the responsibilities of the new position are sketchy at the moment, but it is widely expected that the Assistant Dean's duties include: shamelessly sucking up to T$M, the Dean, and the Board of Governors, maintaining and replenishing "Mean" Gene Milhizer's secret cache of chocolate, punishing dissenting faculty members and students by making them spend five minutes talking to him, making sure Father Orsi stays on his meds, and creeping out the incoming 1L girls. We of the Transition Team wish Aaron all the best as he fulfills his new duties, and congratulate him on going from student to peon to Assistant Dean within a span of two years.</div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com300tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-29962697106724538202007-06-04T21:40:00.000-04:002007-06-04T21:45:18.663-04:00AMTV to Debut, Supplement Famed Radio ShowMonaghan Productions is proud to announce the founding of Ave Maria Television, a 24 hour station dedicated to promoting the missions of Ave Maria Town, Ave Maria University, and Ave Maria School of Law. Stay tuned for official decrees as to the much anticipated fall schedule of shows, and be sure to check out a <a href="http://www.planetvids.com/html/Anti-Porn-Propaganda.html">sneak peek at one of our shows</a>, which is sure to be a hit!<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-91754640321143015902007-05-29T07:44:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:39.378-05:00New Director of Development Chosen<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX0toRjWliATdylhgAHJXz6LmIRHULTyaHzKLDOkwnlP298HMmoPiELvX7zMMzWoWf16higy4665XVtcxnZygW_4ragqgN_Lxxxl0xEkf__ciYV2QRqjwvsVE3NvKvKSNEtVaZLrcISK1p/s1600-h/wormtongue.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5069949363064446002" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhX0toRjWliATdylhgAHJXz6LmIRHULTyaHzKLDOkwnlP298HMmoPiELvX7zMMzWoWf16higy4665XVtcxnZygW_4ragqgN_Lxxxl0xEkf__ciYV2QRqjwvsVE3NvKvKSNEtVaZLrcISK1p/s400/wormtongue.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Dean Bernard Dobranski today announced the appointment of a new Director of Development, one Grima Wormtongue, a new resident of Ann Arbor. The Dean stated that, "Grima represents the very best of AMSOL and its many virtues. He will lead us fearlessly to our new home in Florida, where we will thrive." </div><div> </div><div>Grima, clearly pleased with his new position, was quoted as saying, "When has Tom Monaghan been anything but our friend?" When asked about the vile and evil bloggers that oppose the school's administration, he simply asked in response, "Why do you lay these troubles on a already troubled mind? Can you not see? The great Dobranski is wearied by your malcontent... your warmongering." We at the Real Transition Team will continue to monitor this new development.</div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-31299147552230857242007-05-22T00:13:00.000-04:002007-05-22T00:16:29.696-04:00New List of Banned Movies, Television ShowsIn the interest of transparency, the <em>Real Transition Team </em>is proud to announce <a href="http://www.in-shambles.com/2007/05/16/problems-encountered-by-eskimo-rapists-classic-comedy-that-would-be-banned-today/">the first 8 television shows and movies that will be banned from Ave Maria Town</a>. Here's to a transition-filled summer!<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-13239390583548827372007-05-05T09:12:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:39.481-05:00Happy Cinco De Mayo!!!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiewWXymldh8GnRXTdgFY3AqVKDuE5ALkT8O7TevNXdYm2x26IOsf76dsx_GR64Xudwx_PzxqRrvFKjNV6kABqK2QHA9v19gk61EKP7O0eVtjonVU7M9Uc9br6EBr-ZaKR6fyKIzyJZfBvw/s1600-h/mariachi.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5061064414055337074" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiewWXymldh8GnRXTdgFY3AqVKDuE5ALkT8O7TevNXdYm2x26IOsf76dsx_GR64Xudwx_PzxqRrvFKjNV6kABqK2QHA9v19gk61EKP7O0eVtjonVU7M9Uc9br6EBr-ZaKR6fyKIzyJZfBvw/s400/mariachi.jpg" border="0" /></a> The <em>Real Transition Team</em>, along with <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ppSbnOtzY_I">Bernie, Tommy and Mikey</a>, and the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM6v4avAaeQ">Board of Governors</a>, join in wishing each and every one of our readers a Transition-filled Cinco de Mayo. <br /><div></div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-55272762920303331152007-05-03T01:49:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:39.669-05:00Stiffer Penalties Imposed for IngratitudeIt has come to the attention of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Transition Team</span> that members of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">AMSL</span></span> faculty have met with the student body without prior notification given either to <a href="http://www.theforce.net/kids/coruscant/probe_droid/palpatine.jpg">the dean</a> or <a href="http://warnerkirby.blogs.com/spencerian/images/noid.gif">Tom <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Monaghan</span></span></a><br />This has been expressly forbidden, especially making use of the <a href="http://www.tailoredtime.com/images/pictures/tin_can_phone.jpg"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">internets</span></span></a> so graciously given to the school by Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Monaghan</span></span>, Lord Chancellor, Founder, King, Ruler, Pizza Maker, Owner, CEO, Faculty termination consultant, and Catholic Theologian for the 21st <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">century</span>. The <span style="font-style: italic;">Real Transition Team, </span><span>h</span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">aving</span></span> obtained the full record of this transaction from the <a href="http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/userimages/user756_1150852493.jpg">server</a>, will make sure the involved faculty are <a href="http://www.princeton.edu/%7Ehowarth/304.Projects/Erera/Images/TORTURE.JPG">urged</a> to take a more pro transition stance in light of the lies that were spread at this particular "meeting"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9j6LOZ_uHQNWmJbF0gpY2JuL1-Vw1aKrFmfwl8O9d9vsgU6Odfic1rQEVXescuXhYw3J38AvapAqYTyCLh5QZHfkmR2XUECAxWk58_XqBCR9T5a4AT7grv4atrvk4kV04mjAp9klaxYwJ/s1600-h/mola.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9j6LOZ_uHQNWmJbF0gpY2JuL1-Vw1aKrFmfwl8O9d9vsgU6Odfic1rQEVXescuXhYw3J38AvapAqYTyCLh5QZHfkmR2XUECAxWk58_XqBCR9T5a4AT7grv4atrvk4kV04mjAp9klaxYwJ/s400/mola.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5060219941880564834" border="0" /></a><br />"We're ready to take every step necessary" Said one unidentifiable member of the Administration, proudly wearing his execution garb and <span style="font-style: italic;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">psyching</span><span style="font-style: italic;"> up</span> for the <span style="font-style: italic;">cleansing</span>. "And if that means we have to shed a little blood, then so be it. We are already gearing up our replacement faculty, and the executions will all be off-site, and will occur after the exam period has ended. We don't want to intrude on our beloved students, especially our more <a href="http://www.loonietimes.com/gallery/koolaid.gif"><span style="font-style: italic;">transition-oriented</span></a> ones."<br /><br />/s/ <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Cap'n</span> Crunch<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-58958797597477811152007-04-28T20:43:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:39.820-05:00Crocs Migrate to AMSOL - Residents Remain Skeptical<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj61ehOYFrumQoP_VndydVj6wSx7MGnjZgMcV92fud0JwjIn5S9tbyFhFsWIm5yMl7hw6QaJKNSaqqtVsKE4M-4Q6SjXBIobD3IOZLEhD134_9L9w7AXV2hupPAhmLBXr8Lh8MK_8k17nSr/s1600-h/history_header.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj61ehOYFrumQoP_VndydVj6wSx7MGnjZgMcV92fud0JwjIn5S9tbyFhFsWIm5yMl7hw6QaJKNSaqqtVsKE4M-4Q6SjXBIobD3IOZLEhD134_9L9w7AXV2hupPAhmLBXr8Lh8MK_8k17nSr/s320/history_header.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5058646390417361970" border="0" /></a><br />The Real Transition Team has just recieved breaking news that AMSOL founder and fearless leader Thomas Monaghan plans to team up with the Colorado based shoemaker Crocs to offer a free pair of Crocs shoes to each incoming Ave South 1L. Reports indicate that this multi-million dollar deal is the first successful wide-scale advertising campaign to take place in Imokalee since McDonald's failed <a href="http://www.recipes4us.co.uk/images/Alligator%20cuts%20Main.jpg">"spicy alligator wings"</a> episode back in '89.<br /><br />After extensive negotiations, Crocs will be offering 3 models of their popular spongy shoes to incoming students - the AMSOL logo, the Monaghan, and the Oratory. And yes, folks, they look just about as awesome as they sound.<br /><br />"They're as comfortable as they are ugly", said Crocs rep <a href="http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Sections/Newsweek/Components/Photos/061114_061120/061120_Bruno_hsmall.widec.jpg">Jared Christofersklolas</a>. "And with the Florida humidity, you just can't beat 'em."<br /><br />Meanwhile, some Imokalee residents claim that the <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/04/20/ap/europe/main2708914.shtml">shoes themselves</a> are affirmatively injurious.<br /><br />/s/ Deus Ex<i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-87451531140558433402007-04-28T19:39:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:40.012-05:00Maybe Florida wasn't such a good idea...According to the National Weather Service's Catastrophic Storm Modeling Center, a direct strike by a Category 3 or higher storm on the greater Naples area would have a somewhat detrimental effect on the most righteous and holy Ave Maria town.<br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5058629944987585570" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzKNNnQ8A5OlhXz3t5NFTasIlUms9odqamxE6wrUYhivmDbDPj5iWnJpyfql4pPcisXI2Zb5jwfjwswXCYjeZKnarhuFgocWOZFlQR2-Fhau0x-KQji6DoWi3sMjwaRq2MQRJPVW2F363i/s400/ImmediatelyRegretThisDecision.bmp" border="0" /><br /><div></div><br /><div>Posted by Pugnacious G</div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-50733634495376688472007-04-28T11:56:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:40.184-05:00<em></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rx99yrJbHd1x_sQpEVSds8TZCKcD8_Olb6HWTsfETaH2o68-nEH223B9aVAJbya0sOKnHdizq1ynS3YnhkWYwnd7sBugARaoFifubc7cITskQzTUhGF_-KXsQIK657-xFzJfuQvYeBFc/s1600-h/Bernie's+Mailbox.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5058508878449445906" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="281" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rx99yrJbHd1x_sQpEVSds8TZCKcD8_Olb6HWTsfETaH2o68-nEH223B9aVAJbya0sOKnHdizq1ynS3YnhkWYwnd7sBugARaoFifubc7cITskQzTUhGF_-KXsQIK657-xFzJfuQvYeBFc/s400/Bernie's+Mailbox.JPG" width="445" border="0" /></a><br /><em>Editor's Note: The Dean, being in fine spirits, sent his responses to the questions presented to him precisely at 5:30 pm yesterday, as is his custom. Being the committed reporters of the news that we are, we are proud to present the first edition of Bernie's Mailbag to you today, April 28, 2007. Enjoy!</em><br /><em></em><br /><strong>So Dean, what have you been doing since your hip surgery? By the way, how are you doing?</strong><br /><strong>~Fr. Mike, Ave Town, FL</strong><br /><br />Glad you asked, Mike! I'm doing fine, recovering well, and ready to get back to work on Tom's master plan. Over the last couple of months, I've been busy studying the <a href="http://www.naplesrealestate.com/">real estate market </a>in the greater Naples area, and calling <a href="http://www.valleyviewjc.com/images/rotate01.jpg">everyone I knew</a> to try to make sure they buy their retirement homes in Ave Town. I'm really excited about the future of the area, really excited. Ever since the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpiSN6PL5FY">Board of Governors</a> made their monumental decision, things have really fallen into place.<br /><br /><strong>Do you think the students will have adequate, affordable housing in Ave Town?</strong><br /><strong>~Ned, Naples, FL</strong><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6rx99yrJbHd1x_sQpEVSds8TZCKcD8_Olb6HWTsfETaH2o68-nEH223B9aVAJbya0sOKnHdizq1ynS3YnhkWYwnd7sBugARaoFifubc7cITskQzTUhGF_-KXsQIK657-xFzJfuQvYeBFc/s1600-h/Bernie's+Mailbox.JPG"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /></span></a><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">Of course! Tom has assured me that housing will be made available to the students at a very low rate. I can’t imagine a one bedroom apartment going for much more than a couple thousand dollars a month. That’s about what the students pay now, right?<br /><br />Furthermore, I should add that the faculty will have <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-dkCyRTzj8">excellent housing availabilities</a> down there as well. Tom has made it clear that he will give them generous housing allowances for the faculty. All will be welcome to join us in Ave Town.<br /><br /><strong>There have been rumors that many members of the faculty will not join you in Florida. Is there any truth to these rumors?<br />~Bob, Bonita Springs, FL</strong><br /><br />Those rumors are absolute rubbish. Anyone who spreads that stuff is being unquestionably affirmatively injurious to the school and its mission. Every faculty member I’ve spoken with has indicated a strong interest in moving with us to Florida. Some have indicated that professors with names like Falvey, Murphy, Myers and Safranek would not support such a move. I can stand here today and honestly say there is no such thing as Falvey. Murphy and Myers do not exist. Any rumors of the existence of a bowtie-wearing buffoon by the name of Safranek are purely figments of the imagination of the speaker of such rumors. I have never met, nor have I ever heard of anyone by any of those names. All of our professors will move to Florida.<br /><br /><strong>What is your take on the faculty meeting with the students last night?<br />~P. Tiger, Ann Arbor, MI/Ave Town, FL</strong><br /><br />None of the members of the faculty of Ave Maria School of Law spoke with the students last night. Every faculty member was at home, sound asleep by 8:30. I know. I personally tucked them all in.<br /><br /><strong>What is your take on the Falvey Report?<br />~Otto, Orangetree, FL<br /></strong><br />Don’t even get me started on that. Not only is there no <a href="http://www.avewatch.org/cyberduck/falvey_low.pdf">report</a> but as I just said, there is no <a href="http://www.avemarialaw.edu/prospective/faculty/staffprofile.cfm?pid=11705E7D4E0111010364">Falvey</a>.<br /><br /><strong>What was your opinion of the feasibility study conducted by Deans Reed and White?<br />~Chris, Collier County, FL</strong><br /><br />In a word? Brilliant. Deans <a href="http://learn.bowdoin.edu/italian/dante/dumb_&_dumber_.jpg">Reed and White</a> are modern day Shakespeares. Their eloquent phrasing of the reasons we’re moving to Naples brought tears to Tom’s eyes. It’s been said that Tom’s <a href="http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck">tears cure cancer</a>, which is a shame because Tom never cries, and it’s true. With that solitary tear, Tom could have saved 100 lives. Unfortunately, it fell into the Corkscrew Swamp. Now the gators don’t have to worry about cancer. Anyhow, the Reid and Wite study was tremendously well written.<br /><br /><strong>Could you define “affirmatively injurious?”<br />~Peter, Pelican Bay, FL</strong><br /><br />Two words: Anything that gets Tom <a href="http://www.franchising.com/littlecaesarspizza/images/logo.gif">mad</a>.<br /><br /><strong>Sabe que tienen muchos hispanicos en el sur de Florida. Como planea ofrecer amistad a los hispanicos cerca de Ave Town?<br />~Enrique, Immokalee, FL</strong><br /><br />Gracias, Enrique, for the question. We know that there is a significant Hispanic population in Southern Florida, and we’re excited to make new steps to help them out. Personally, I have begun habla-ing espanol so that I might be able to connect with the locals when I encounter them. I’ve always been a fan of baseball and soccer, so I have that in common with all of them, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy a late night trip to get some authentic Mexican fare at <a href="http://www.members.cox.net/nicknamers/tacobell_mine.gif">Taco Bell</a>. I’m sure Cuban food is exactly the same. Let’s face it, this is really a perfect fit.<br /><br /><strong>What about Ave Maria University, how will the law school be affiliated with them?<br />Paul, Palm River, FL</strong><br /><br />Let me say this clearly: There is no way, absolutely no way, that the law school will have any direct affiliation with Ave Maria University while the school remains in Ann Arbor.<br /><br /><strong>Do you know anything about new plans at Ave Maria University?<br />~Earl, East Naples, FL</strong><br /><br />Well, I saw the folks on the Transition Team had mentioned something about the athletics at the University. While all that is true, I’m proud to announce some new sports in which Tom is sure we can immediately succeed at the Division I level.<br /><br />Tom has just approved plans for the new <a href="http://www.lakewoodrvresort.com/gallery/shuffleboard.jpg">Varsity Shuffleboard Facility</a>. We’re already recruiting next year’s team from the hottest hotbeds of shuffleboard action around the country. Coincidentally, the best place in the world to recruit <a href="http://www.craigsrv.com/images/photo08.jpg">shuffleboard players</a> just happens to be Collier County, Florida. We’re truly blessed. Tom has proclaimed ours the best recruiting class in the country for NCAA Shuffleboard.<br /><br />We’re also thrilled to mention that our petition for a new NCAA sport has been approved. Starting next season, Gator Racing will debut as an NCAA sport. It’s just like a horse race, but on a gator. It’s not well known, but a gator can actually <a href="http://www.gatorshop.com/img/productImages/483.jpg">outrun</a> a horse in a straight line. We fully expect to win a national title in Gator Racing next year.<br /><br /><strong>How is the recruitment of next year’s 1L class coming along?<br />~<a href="http://landolove.com/random/cletus.jpg">Cletus</a>, Corkscrew, FL<br /></strong><br />Interesting question. We’ll have a full class, there’s no question about that. And it will be the best class we’ve ever had. While it is true that their GPAs and LSAT scores might be lower than, say, Cooley, Tom has devised a new rating system. It’s called the TMMC—The Tom Monaghan Measure of Catholicism. Basically, Tom reads the personal statements of each applicant, and counts the various biblical references, references to papal encyclicals, and reference to Tom’s word. For general biblical references, they get 1 point. For papal encyclical references, 10 points. For reference to Tom’s word, 25 points. This, Tom says, will ensure a truly brilliant incoming class.<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"><br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:verdana;"></span><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4672327421118736933.post-9497740000126357232007-04-27T13:44:00.000-04:002008-12-09T22:40:40.262-05:00Behold! The God-King Cometh!Yes, it is true, my holy and righteous bretheren. He has declared himself! He has come! Those who embrace him will be rewarded; those who oppose him shall be destroyed. Look on his works, ye mighty, and despair!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizzXodkO9PGmTdPUmVvzJtKEvkPh-OdHMfw1C2qDbizvlcMn0eiGG_e-0sPD3kHzgYsLsdfTFQzZ8K5KHU3SLd4qlnk5YvG5xgFofKKWJkgknMB9P680pXJYnloJujm3g0FmpCQlY-He_h/s1600-h/GodKing.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5058165783576939522" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizzXodkO9PGmTdPUmVvzJtKEvkPh-OdHMfw1C2qDbizvlcMn0eiGG_e-0sPD3kHzgYsLsdfTFQzZ8K5KHU3SLd4qlnk5YvG5xgFofKKWJkgknMB9P680pXJYnloJujm3g0FmpCQlY-He_h/s400/GodKing.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Posted by Pugnacious G</div><i>The Real Transition Team</i>http://www.blogger.com/profile/01846566759981447445noreply@blogger.com5